In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.
Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.
Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.
I love you,
Cards Against Humanity”
I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor.
Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it.
I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death.
“On the surface, it seemed plausible—owning our employees’ bodies, implementing a mandatory 18-hour workday, restricting their movements, and not compensating them with anything besides minimal food and shelter—but then it started to sound really familiar in a bad way,” said Bezos, who acknowledged his fears were confirmed when Amazon’s general counsel kept reporting back that such labor arrangements had been illegal throughout the United States since 1865. “It’s too bad; the increased efficiency and cost savings would have been tremendous. And now I have to go explain to our shareholders why I spent $1.8 million outfitting all of our managers with bullwhips, shackles, and branding irons.”
if you wanna pull some hair while you fuckin but yo chick bald headed, strap one of dem bicycle helmets to her head and put ya fingers through the lil holes.
